The year of 2023 has been a year of crazy emotions, surprises, and brand-new experiences for me, especially when you are transitioning in a new phase of your life.
Though being married for a year was not a big deal, but a reminder that I am no longer the small little kid who can avoid big-boy responsibilities and making big fusses out of the tiniest discomforts. It just further emphasized the need for me to grow out of my comfort zone, and face adulthood issues head-on with all the wisdom I lacked of.
Back then, when I was dreaming of the day when I become a full-fledged adult, it was all about affording big ticket items, topping with the luxury and autonomy to make my decisions for myself and I. It was a rather superficial take on growing up when I didn’t fully understand how difficult it took to be a responsible adult who can take care of his health and finance, without relying on any sources of external help.
2023 took a little turn for me to understand how to “operate” as an independent adult, taking risks at my own threshold, and deciding on things that might affect my long-term trajectory.
Would I say it was any fun being an adult or trying to think like I was actually one? Yes and No
Definitely a “yes” if you ask me if I enjoyed spending on the things I want that improved my quality of life. It was a thrilling feeling knowing that you finally owned a house of your own with your lifetime partner, welcoming a new pet into the family, and having to host your friends at your place without being a nuisance to your parents.
It is, I believe, many young ones’ dreams to be living in their own sanctuary, filled with scented candles, admiring the plants after a long day of work, which are miles away from their imaginations. Being able to envision myself to have a place almost two years after graduation, I must give credits to my wife, who worked hard in her younger days.
The place itself came empty, like a Do-it-yourself (“DIY”) kit, that required a lot of patience and dedication to assemble the pieces. Picking the right colour tone for the place wasn’t easy because achieving a warm and cozy vibe was something that I always longed for.
Curating furniture pieces, designing the layout, and styling the space were challenging in nature, especially when finding items with similar tones could be difficult given the muted colours.
Eventually, we gave the entire space a new life that can house our exciting new lifestyle, given that we wanted a more pragmatic yet creative space for us to showcase our personalities through different ornaments and decorative pieces.
It turned out to be a nurturing place for us to heal our souls after work, and we exceed our expectations through the tedious process of making countless, painstaking decisions to create a mutual space of our own.
After the housewarming season, we eventually came to a decision to welcome a new family member (pet) to our space, to brighten up our lives through his company. He belongs to a cat breed called Scottish Fold that has a genetic defect, which gives him his folded ear appearance (he has in fact 3 folds!).
Being a little mischevious, he is rather curious about many things that comes to him, especially when he is alone at night. Looking at the CCTV that we secretly (not at all) installed around the place, he was actually finding new items frantically around the house to keep him entertained.
My plan for 2024 is to focus on building a life of my own, embarking on a self-exploratory journey towards understanding more the things around me, and embracing new experiences as a new “pawrent” and an adult who is about to hit his 30s. I realized that having many plans just means that I have to allocate my focus into different areas, which resulted in not achieving all the goals, and not having progressed well into any aspects of life.
Another wish of mine in 2024 is to provide more invaluable writing pieces to share my personal experience more candidly so that more people can benefit without having to do hard searches on Google!
The constant thought of wanting “more” can be disruptive as this means that it can warp your current reality into the endless pursuit of everything else other than the things you already have. And being “contented” isn’t going to make you work any harder than you already are because it will “brake” your engine.
Striving to balance these two innate forces would be useful when you are venturing your adulthood, and not being caught up in the endless spiral of discontent and comparison.
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About The Author:
Vince Law is a former Accountancy graduate from Singapore Management University, who recently transitioned from being an auditor from one of the Big 4 accounting firms to becoming a software engineer, focusing on payments and investments in the banking industry.
He also works as a freelance writer who loves challenging mainstream views on current affairs and is a strong advocate of mental health and personal development.
For business queries, please feel free to reach out to me at lawyinkai@gmail.com.
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Law Yin Kai | Perspectives 
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