When growing up, I always fantasizes about being someone who is capable of speaking to many people without feeling shy or being that person who is well-liked by everyone in the room.

As I tried to refine my ways and portrayed in a way where upholding certain values and principles seems to be welcomed, I didn’t realize that I was creating a façade or a mask that I would use to defend myself if I ended up in uncomfortable situations such as being stuck in a social event without knowing anyone, or having to share personal things with people who I am not close with.

Speaking frivolously and candidly, at times, I didn’t make a conscious thought to vet through my words before letting it out of my chatty mouth under the influence of alcohol.

Through many years and experiencing countless of similar events, it started to build onto me where I cultivated a “reflex” or muscle memory whenever I had to go through the situations.

Be it in a corporate setting or personal setting, that defensive me would always show up and step in for my weaker self. Eventually, I guessed I established myself as one who is able to share my thoughts freely, yet being conscious without making anyone feeling out of place.

When it comes to being intentional with words, it is at best where you can freely air your thoughts without having to filter since you are generally doing it with your close friends and families. It is noteworthy to understand that it might be difficult for some to do so as they might either be putting up a strong front or hiding their “true” self from their closed ones.

Being yourself can be challenging due to personal circumstances or the environment you are in, which is one of the main sources of influence to your personal development.

Struggling under a tight space where their lives are generally fast-paced and with people who are categorized as “toxic”, one might portray a more edgy, straightforward, and unassailable where their words often brings alternate meanings for our interpretations.

As opposed to one who is placed in a more carefree environment, they usually thrive around people who speaks their minds and are more nonchalant, in which allowing them the time and space to formulate their thoughts into more collected and truthful words.

The two profiles grew into their environment and eventually developed a “reflex” to cope with their circumstances. It is up to one to decide if being carefree or defensive is being your “true” self as they may ended up losing their real identity to the people who truly cares about them.

While being “yourself” is often widely spoken in the mainstream media, we couldn’t careless about ourselves as we are also accustomed to the fact that we want to look “unique” in front of media, and portray ourselves differently to our friends and families.

At the age where I am, being myself is enough just because I couldn’t care more about how people feels about me, and more so to do it for myself because I live for myself and the people who truly cares about me. If I cannot be myself, when can I start living an intentional life?

Start caring less about how someone feels about you, and start living an intentional life where you can be yourself, anytime and anywhere.

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About The Author:

Vince Law is a former Accountancy graduate from Singapore Management University, who recently became a parent of 2 amazing cats (Ginkgo and Goji). After writing for over 4 years, he transitioned into his coaching business related to personal development and mental well-being at mentalhealthcoaching_sg.

He also works as a freelance writer who loves challenging mainstream views on current affairs and is a strong advocate of mental health and personal development.

For business queries, please feel free to reach out to me at lawyinkai@gmail.com.